Pee or get off the grass... (?)

CLE!YO!PAT!RA! You have to do your *Outside*! (for those keeping score at home, why YES, that IS a euphemism!)

Wet grass will not melt you. You are neither that sweet nor that eeevi-i-il. Just do the deed and we can go inside and snuggle. If you refuse to empty, I don't feel comfortable trusting either your tiny canine bladder or brain.

Don't want to deal with wet grass? Fine. Let's meet at the toilet for purposes other than kleenex shredding (Olympic trial phase, apparently) and personal hydration purposes.

Goofball.