Why Do They Lock Gas Station Bathrooms?

To keep George Carlin from haunting them.

Yeah, that's not as funny as the answer he used to give. (Which was "Do they think someone's going to come in and clean them?") But today's not a very funny day. Today's the day they announced George Carlin died of heart failure, and I think I just may join him.

Intelligent, thought-provoking humor. Thank God and Carlin for that. Didn't matter how many times I heard his routines, I laughed myself silly over them. The Difference Between Football and Baseball. The Difference Between Dogs and Cats. Stuff. I never yet have heard the Seven Words bit without it being censored, but I imagine it being every bit as funny as all the rest.

God bless the great city of Milwaukie, WI. That's where, in 1972, Carlin ended up as a footnote in all the lawbooks for all time, and as a result, one of the most memorable WCPN interview moments in my listening history, just a few years ago.

Good O'l George did his Seven Words schtick on stage. And if you're reading this and don't know the piece, it's about how these particular words are never going to be heard on broadcast TV. I mean, there's a lot that gets past the network censors today, but these words are strictly, absolutely enforced. So at the end of the performance, Carlin was arrested, brought up on charges of disturbing the peace (!!!!! laughter is disturbing the peace!!) (because I just can't imagine anyone in that room rioted other than a gut-busting belly laugh!), and was released on a $150 fine.

A Milwaukie judge dismissed the charges. He said that while Carlin was being indecent, he still had his freedom of speech. Carlin bounded happily out of the court room and jauntily into the historic annals of law.

He was pretty proud of that, he later said. I don't blame him one bit.

So the last (or maybe second last) time George Carlin came to Cleveland, he was on WCPN for a live interview with Dee Perry on the Around Noon Show. And Dee has this very hesitating style of interviewing that makes her sound like she's making up her questions on the spot, though I'm sure she actually DID prepare days in advance. (It drives me nuts.) The interview was bland, but going well, until she asked Carlin about his "controversial" Seven Words bit, at which point he completely tore her to pieces.

The point of Seven Words is that words only have such power as we give them. This is the meaning of the phrase "the pen is mightier than the sword". You can bring down the mightiest warrior with words to weaken him or her before you ever enter into battle. Likewise, if it is decided that the word "rose" suddenly has awful connotations, we will no longer be permitted to use that word in print or broadcast media. Our children will be taught a new word for the flower that grows on the shrub that bears pointy thorns.

George Carlin used humor to get that point across with Seven Words. Dee Perry, by asking a poorly prepared and superficial question, offended him, and from that point forward, shares her interviews with other staff members whenever certain performers come to town. (We all benefit!!) It sure was interesting to hear Carlin's temper unleash. It was fascinating to hear his perspective out from behind the filter of humor. And then the finality of the click of the phone line.

I suppose that's a little like the news that came today.

I hate June. All the good people die in June.