Thursday, February 07, 2008

The Vultures Have Been Circling...

My husband got in a car accident almost 3 weeks ago. This is not new news on this blog. There are pictures. Scroll down.

He's fine. So's the girl who caused the accident. Our car was almost totaled. The very most important thing, though, is that no one was hurt. We are all super happy, grateful beyond expression, and very relieved about that.

What's hilarious? (Yes, I always manage to find the funny angle.) Starting a week ago Tuesday we've been innundated by phone calls -- they even got my husband's cell phone, the creeps! -- and junk mail. ALL of it to do with the accident.

Chiropracters, lawyers, insurance companies, and doctors' offices from as far away as NEW MEXICO (!!!) (we're in Ohio) have copies of the accident report.

(WE don't even have copies of the accident report. We got paperwork yesterday from our insurance company to the effect that they may not yet, either. Well, they were missing something when they sent the letter; Rick said they were no longer missing whatever it was. I'm not worried.)

When they call, they have two modes of attack: clandestine or sugary sweet. My favorite is 'clandestine', because they think they're such tough nuts to crack. When they're being all cloak and dagger, they try to refuse to speak to me, insisting only to speak to THE VICTIM (insert dramatic orchestral sting) and claiming computer failure when I get too close to the truth. >*snort*< Dorks. The sugary sweet approach involves the pretense of caring, soft tones of voice, even once, "Awww". >*snort*< Posers.

I have nothing against chiropracters, law practices, or the medical industry. It's the sheer volume of calls and mail we are getting, AND the wide scope from which they're coming that's ridiculous (New Mexico?? Honestly!). And the insurance companies: changing horses in mid-stream, much? Sure, that'll happen.

I'm close to changing the phone message to the Spamalot song, "He Is Not Dead Yet".

If they ever come to the door, I'm armed with a bright pink and yellow squirt gun filled with very sugary lemonade, targeted on suede and silk. Bring it!


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At 11:20 PM, Blogger Melissa said...

I think you should say "I'm his attorney." ;)

You can also get your name on the do not call list, and then get all their personal info if they do call and really make life difficult for them :)

(I don't like pushy sales tactics!)

At 10:58 AM, Blogger Rebecca said...

We *are* on the do not call list.

They somehow get a free pass from the do not call regulations, and I just can't figure out how. I understand how businesses with whom we've had prior relationships get off that hook, but these guys are clearly not in that basket.

Actually, it's more fun messing with them.

I almost messed with one, but it was accidental, and I had to set it straight...

I never give them private info. But the girl's insurance company called, and they were more than willing to speak with me. Clearly, it was very important to them to get business taken care of, and 'wife' meant something to them. When I explained that he was at work and gave them the name of the workplace, the insurance guy gently freaked out a little, because it's a law firm! Rick's not a lawyer. But you can see where an insurance adjuster would be a bit uncomfortable having to deal with someone from a law firm, especially one from well, THIS law firm. They're NOT ambulance chasers; they have offices on every continent except the South Pole (though they represent entities who have research interests that are based there), and if I mentioned some of their clients (won't/can't), you'd recognize them, regardless of where in the world you lived. Nah, Rick just does computer stuff for them. :-D So I set his mind at ease!!! But I had to chuckle, because I understood the pause and deep breath I heard on the other end of the phone! ;-)

At 12:21 PM, Blogger Melissa said...

Ah ha! See? That's what I think you should do with all of them! Lol! (But without letting them off the hook!)


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